Not much happening around here these days besides me working, doing laundry, doing dishes, working some more, and the cycle continues to repeat itself.
Oh and cleaning toilets. My goodness, how did I forget that one?
But Ben, my cute boy who is tall and blonde and adorable is away at Young Life camp at Saranac Lake, New York. And notice how I describe him when he is away. It's because I miss him so. I miss that goofy boy/man. All 14 3/4 years of his life have been goofy. And now I'm staring at high school for him. And I so wanna cry out "NO! You Can't have him!".
But I know how it goes. It's supposed to happen. He is supposed to leave me. He needs to go and grow and make it happen. I just don't know if I can handle it... Again.
It's times like this that I wish for head colds, and snow days. So I can tuck him onto the couch and make soup and make sure he is reminded of who loves him the most.
And Rachel is heading back to college. (Why do I do this to myself, sniff, sniff) Another year. My baby girl has worked so hard this summer. And now, is leaving again.
I wonder what God was thinking when He decided that the love we would have for our children would undo us. How it would paralyze us when we think about it. How it's gripping and terrifying and the BEST thing we'd ever know, and all at once.
I was talking to a new mom at work. She was falling helplessly in love with her baby. Staring with tears streaming at this love that has gotten a hold of her heart and will never let go. And I would have given BOTH arms to go back. I watched her and I gently told her that these were the best days of her life and to take it in, every detail, and let everything else go. Like the laundry, and the pristine house. These days are a glimpse of heaven and this love? It's just a fraction of the love God has for us. Can you imagine?
My bosom aches for days gone by. And I'm staring at my future with wonder and terror. What will I do when these days are a memory?